Spoof Text : Nasreddin’s Coat

Education English | Spoof Text :  Nasreddin’s Coat | One day Nasreddin had been invited to the dinner party. He went to the party by wearing old clothes.
When he arrived in the party, nobody looked at him and nobody gave him a seat. He got no food in the party so he went home and change his clothes
Next he put on his best clothes. He wore his newest coat and went to the party again. The host at once got up and came to meet him. The host offered him the best table and gave him a good seat and served him the best food
Nasreddin sat and put off his coat. He put his coat and said; “Eat the food, Coat!” the hosts and guests were very surprised and asked Nareddin; “What are doing?” Nasreddin replied calmly; “When I came here with my old clothes, nobody looked at me. Then I went home and put on my best clothes. I came back in my newest coat and you all give me this best food and drink. So, you give food to my coat instead of me”. Getting Nasreddin's answer, they just shook the head.
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Spoof Text : The Old Man

Education English | Spoof Text : The Old Man | An 80-year-old man goes to a doctor for a checkup. The doctor is amazed at his shape. "To what do you attribute your remarkably good health?"
"I am a turkey hunter and that's why I'm in good shape. Get up before daylight, chase turkeys up and down the mountains."
The doctor says, "Well, I'm sure it helps, but there has to be genetic factors. How old was your dad when he died?"
"Who says my dad's dead?"
"You're 80 years old and your dad's alive? How old is he?"
"Dad's 100. In fact, he turkey hunted with me this morning."
"What about your dad's dad – how old was he when he died?"
"Who says my granddad's dead?"
"You're 80 years old and your grandfather's still living? How old is he?"
"118."
"I suppose you're going to tell me he went turkey hunting this morning?"
"No. He got married."
The doctor looks at the man in amazement. "Got married? Why would a 118-year-old guy want to get married?" The old-timer answers, "Who says he wanted to?"

 

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Spoof : Saddest Story

Education English | Spoof : Saddest Story | Jody, Grace and Jhonson were at convention together and were sharing a large suite on the top of 75 stories skyscraper. After a long days of meeting, they were shocked to hear that he elevators in their hotel were broken and they would have to climb seventy five  of stairs  to get to their room. Jody said to Grace "Let's break monotony of this unpleasant task by concentrating on something which is interest. I will tell jokes for 25 flights and Grace can sing a songs for 25 flights and Jhonson can tell sad stories the rest of the way.

At the 26th floor Bill stopped telling jokes and Jody begin to sing. At the 51th floor Jody stopped sing and Grace began to tell the sad stories.

"I will tell my saddest story first," he said "I left the room key in the car!"

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Spoof Text : Numbers

Education English | Spoof Text : Numbers | We took a tour to a theme park that included bus transportation between the hotel and area attractions. Our driver made sure we would know how to find the correct bus back to our hotel, telling us, "Now repeat after me: this is bus number 110."
"Bus number 110," all the passengers chorused.
"The bus will depart at 8.30 p.m.," he announced.
"Depart at 8.30 p.m.," we echoed.
"The last number you'll need is 9-8-5-0," the driver said.
Puzzled, we repeated, "9-8-5-0." Then the driver went on to explain, "That's how much it will cost for a taxi back to your hotel if you forget the first two numbers." 

 

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Spoof Text : Penguin in the Park

Education English | Spoof Text : Penguin in the Park | Once a man was walking in a park when he across a penguin. He took it to a policeman and said; "What should I do?" The policeman replied; "Take it to the zoo!".
The next day, the policeman saw the man in the same park. The man was still carrying the penguin. The policeman was rather surprised and walked up to the man and asked; "Why are you still carrying the penguin? Didn't you take it to the zoo?" The man replied; "I certainly did. And it was a great idea because the penguin really enjoyed it. So, today I am taking it to the movie".
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Spoof Text : A strange Beginning to a Courtship

Ben finally found a maintenance job at a prestigious hotel. A few days later he was instructed to check out problem in the ladies toilet. At first, he thought it might be a chocked basin. Having inspected it, he found the basins were in perfect working condition.

Suddenly, he heard a woman screaming “ I can’t get out!. I am stuck, please help!”

Been took out a screwdriver and twisted the locking mechanism to the open position from outside. The door swung open inward and he saw the hotel receptionist struck in the toilet cubical. She was very embarrassed and both left the toilet quietly.

A few days later, they happened to walk along the same corridor and accidentally bumped into each other still very embarrassed of what happened at the toilet on that fateful day. Six months after the incident they finally overcome their embarrassment and ultimately got married. The first thing they did before they moved into their new house was to replace the bathroom door with one without a lack or latch.

(Taken From : Bahasa Inggris SMA dan MA, 2008 )

Spoof Text : The Medicine of Sleep

Education English | Spoof Text : The Medicine of Sleep | Because my husband, John, tends to snore, I rarely get more than a couple of hours sleep each night. When he awakens refreshed in the morning, he's always astonished to find that he has been the cause of another sleepless night for me.

One night John had severe allergy symptoms, so he took some medication before he went to bed. To my surprise, he fell into a deep sleep, allowing me to nod off comfortably too. I awoke to find him shaking me. "What's the matter?" I asked, trying not to sound irritable. "Are you in pain?"

"No," he said, "but the drugs have worn off, and I can't sleep." I stared at him in exhausted disbelief.
"What do you want me to do about it?" I said through clenched teeth.
"Oh, nothing," he replied. "I just wanted you to know”

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Spoof Text : Age is No Barrier

Jame Peterson grew up three house away from Lucy Teddy in Ham Rock Street, Texas. He often did chores for her: he washed car and ran errands fo her.

They often spent time together and they eventaly fel in love. Months later, the couple decided to get married, which caused many objections from Lucy’s children and grandchildren !

In fact James was younger than Lucy’s gardenchildren. He was 21 when they got married. His bride was 18.

(Taken From : Bahasa inggris SMA dan MA, 2008)

Spoof Text : She is Not Yours

Education English | Spoof Text : She is Not Yours| My baby-sitter knows not to bring my one-yearold daughter, Ami, into the supermarket where I work. One glimpse of me at the check out counter and Ami will scream until she’s in my arms. But one day, with the fridge empty, Maxine had no choice. And, as predicted, when my daughter spotted me, her wailing could be heard throughout the groceries. “That’s right, honey,” said the woman I was waiting on. “You just keep smiling and thank God she’s not yours.” 

 

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Spoof : Kids are Smarter Than You Think

Education English | Spoof : Kids are Smarter Than You Think | Nine year old Nany was given an assignment in school to write a story on " My Family's ancestors' The purpose was for the kids to understand their heritage. In find of some answers for her assignment , nany proceeded to interview her grandmother who was not aware of the reason for Nany's questions.

When he asked her grandmother, 'Granny, where did I come from?" her grandma being nerveous enough about talking with a kid about such private subject in the absence of her parents wanted to buy sometime and replied"Well, sweetie the stork brought you" Hoping that the subject would be dropped until Nany's parent came back she said no more.

"So , where did Mom come from??"

"The stork brought her also"

"Well, then where did you come from?"

" The stork brought me too, honey"

"All right, thanks granny"

Nany's grandmother did not think anything more about this incident until three days later when she was tidying up and looking at Nany's desk, read the firs sentence of her paper, "For three generations , there have been no natural births in our family"

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Spoof Text : Bad Luck

Education English | Spoof Text : Bad Luck | A woman's husband had been slipping in and put of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside ecery single day. When she came to he, motioned for her to come nearer.

As she sat by him, he said "You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me, When by business failed , you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house you gave me support, When my health started failing you, were still by my side. You know what?"

"What dear?" she asked gently

"I think you bring me bad luck"

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Spoof Text : Pssst! Want to Buy a Fake Ferrari?

Education English | Spoof Text : Pssst! Want to Buy a Fake Ferrari? | ROME: Italians are used to buying bogus Gucci bags or Rolex watches to look stylish but police found a new height of craftsmanship and cunning when they broke up a ring selling fake Ferrari cars for a fraction of the real

price. Police accused 15 people of building the blood red sports cars and selling them to car fanatics on a budget, most of whom knew they were buying a counterfeit classic. Car body workers who police called "very able" cobbled together mostly fake parts and a few original components. They used body parts from other makes of automobiles, such as chassis, roofs, hoods, trunks

and doors. The body parts were modified to look like Ferrari clas sics such as the 328 Gtb, which went out of production in the late 1980s. Some of the cars sold for about 20,000 euros, about a tenth of the going price for some versions. 

 

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Spoof Text : That Phone is Off

Education English | Spoof Text : That Phone is Off | Soon after he left college, Dave found one of his uncles who was very rich and had no children of his own died and left him a lot of money, so he decided to set up his own real estate agency.
Dave found a nice office. He bought some new furniture and moved in. he had only been there for e few hours when he heard someone coming toward the door of his office.
“It must be my first customer” Dave thought. He quickly picked up the telephone and pretended to be very busy answering an important call from someone in New York who wanted to buy a big and expensive house in the country.
The man knocked at the door while this was going on. He came in and waited politely for Dave to finish his conversation on the phone. Then the man said to Dave; “I am from the telephone company and I was sent here to connect your telephone”
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Spoof Text : The Own Towel

Education English | Spoof Text : The Own Towel | On a recent vacation at a resort with my in-laws, we planned to spend an afternoon at the pool with our kids. We wanted to bring our own drinks, but were unsure of the hotel's policy. My brother-in-law called the front desk, and assuming everyone was familiar with the brand of ice chest he had, asked if it was all right if he brought a Playmate to the pool. After a pause the clerk asked, "Does she have her own towel?". 

 

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Spoof Text : Saved by Stilts

Education English | Spoof Text :  Saved by Stilts | The king wanted to test Abu Nawas’ smartness. So he invited Abu Nawas to the palace. “You want me, your Majesty?” greeted Abu Nawas. “Yes, you have fooled me three times and that’s too much. I want you to leave the country. Otherwise you will have to go to jail” said the king. “If that is what you want, I will do what you said” said Abu Nawas sadly. Then “Remember, from tomorrow you may not step on the ground of this country anymore” the king said seriously. Then Abu nawas left the king palace sadly.
The following morning the king ordered his two guards to go to Abu Nawas’ house. The guards were very surprised found Abu Nawas still in his house. He had not left the country yet. Instead leaving the country, Abu Nawas was swimming in small pool in front of his house. “Hey Abu Nawas, why haven’t you left this country yet? The king ordered you not to step on the ground of this country anymore, didn’t he?” said the guards. “Sure he did” answered Abu Nawas calmly. “But look at me! Do I step on the ground of this country? No, I do not step on the ground. I am swimming on the water” continued Abu Nawas.
The guards were not able to argue with Abu Nawas so they left Abu Nawas’ house and went back to the palace. The guards reported what they had seen to the king. The king was curious on Abu Nawas’ excuse not to leave the country. Therefore the king ordered his guard to call Abu Nawas to come to the palace.
Abu Nawas came to the palace on stilts. The king wondered and said “Abu, I will surely punish you because you haven’t done what I have said. You have not left this country”. The King continued “And now, look at you. You walk on stilts like a child. Are you crazy? The king pretended to be furious.
“I remember exactly what you said, Your Majesty” Abu Nawas answered calmly. “This morning I took a bath in the small pool in my house so that I had not to step on the ground. And since yesterday, I have been walking on this stilts. So you see, Your Majesty, I do not step on the ground of this country”. The king was not able to say anything.
(Adapted from S. Harianto’s Abu Nawas and King Aaron)
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